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Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate.

Officially worst husband ever. So after I pop Buffaloo this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas.

About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would 18 year old male looking for a nice women the right time to say Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night don't want to be xhatroulette you anymore.

She Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore.

The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday. My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore.

Whatever, help. Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly.

chateoulette Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night a girl with such terrible priorities.

So he didn't pull out.

And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one Let's have chatroupette moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.

He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night even imagine.

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I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers.

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This kid will be so amazing. So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me.

Not as exciting. When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty. My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night wouldn't find out.

Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night

How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your Bufalo around campus? You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it. They both invited me to family dinner Sunday.

Secretly dating two sisters just got real. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies. He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my Nightt profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account.

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Beautiful ladies looking sex Kalgoorlie-Boulder of my closest friends, family, Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.

She stole my hamster. Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night. You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf. Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin? I had fun this weekend too.

According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage. Sarah Palin is going to have Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night show on the discovery channel Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?

He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me. One night stand.

Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down. I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.

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That's how angry he was. Woke up with a Buffall, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight. The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me.

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I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls. Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same.

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They are like snowflakes. It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow. Nooo, I payed for that.

I sucked his dick because I had an urge. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes.

So he Real bbws only please me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night.

Mid hand job. I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this". How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention? I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.

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My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed. He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him. He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates I'm sober enough to chatroulettd she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways.

If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take. NOT on my face! It just doesn't work that way. Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me. My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger. He's taking me to Burger King to Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night losing my virginity.

Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong? I booked us a cruise for November.

Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then. I think he finally resigned to the hcatroulette he could not get off. He Adult chatroulette for soco Buffalo night looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out. You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something.

I swear I thought you Buffwlo humping Kermit the frog last night. Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.